Christian fiction
Jesus’ Diary — Part Four(Last Part)
The Desert(2)
‘But emptied himself, by taking the form of a bondservant, and being born in the likeness of men.’ Philippians 2:7 (NASB)
‘Therefore, He had to be made like His brethren in all things, so that He might become a merciful and faithful high priest in things pertaining to God, to make propitiation for the sins of the people.’ Hebrews 2:17(NASB)
My take on the mentioned verses of the New Testament is entirely fictional and doesn’t seek to challenge the various theological interpretations surrounding them.
‘Why are doing this to Yourself?’ the man asks. He raises his hand and clicks his fingers. Suddenly, a tall date palm tree appears behind him. Its trunk seems to reach the sky and its branches completely block the burning rays of the sun.
The man picks up a plump, juicy date from the ground and puts it in his mouth. He starts chewing, leaning against the thick trunk of the tree.
It’s an illusion! He can do this, he can flood my mind with images. Any images…
‘You’re right, ‘the man says, smacking his lips. ‘But my images are quite satisfying. They can quench thirst and hunger. They can give real peace.’
‘Lucifer…’ I utter finally, his name appearing in my mind and piercing the tip of my tongue.
The bloody wound of a smile on his face deepens.
‘So now You remembered Who you are, didn’t You? I’m glad. I prefer to speak with the real You, not that pathetic human shape You’ve donned.’
My next words surprise me.
‘I’m a human.’
‘You’re a human? You, The Creator of Everything, You’re human? Wow! That beats me! You mean, you’ll remain like that forever?’
‘That’s the plan, yes.’
‘You’ll walk around in that body in the new time-reality? Your dear resurrected humans and you, among them, looking that way?’
‘Yes.’
He laughs. The whole desert shakes and a sandstorm seems to rise from the East. Lucifer makes a ‘You’re insane!’ gesture, and then both of us are engulfed by a cloud of sand.
Coughing, I find myself on my knees near an old, pagan stone site. Every inch of my body aches. I desperately want to go away, to go home, wherever that home is.
Lucifer is by my side. He holds one round stone in each hand.
‘All right, my Lord. Since You’ve decided to be a human, you should understand humans have needs. You’ll kill yourself if you continue this diet. I understand you want to look fit, but that’s too much. You need to eat.’
‘I don’t…’
‘Yeah, yeah, I get it. You don’t want my food. Make your own, then. Turn these two stones into bread. Should be easy-peasy. I mean, You and your Father are One, aren’t You? Tell Him you’re hungry. Do You know how many people in this world tell Him every day that they are hungry?’
I know that. And at that moment, I know exactly how they feel. I know how their bodies feel. And I know how their souls feel.
Their stomachs are crunched and pierced by a thousand sharp needles. They are trembling and they don’t have the power to lift a spoon. Their hair falls. Their nails break. Their bones stick out.
Their souls ask questions and don’t receive answers.
They pray for help and they don’t get it.
She cries within me, and I cry with her.
My physical body cries, too.
‘Oh, come on!’ Lucifer waves his stone-laden hands at me, ‘Stop whimpering and do what you have to do. You can fix this world so easily, now that you’re here. Feed yourself, and then feed the people in the world!’
I wipe my tears. The contact of my hand with my sunburnt face makes me wince with agony.
Of course, I can’t even look at what he is holding. I can’t even think of resorting to something he has touched. But there are other stones on the ground, lots of them. I can take two of them myself. I can do what he suggests. I suddenly realize I’m able to do it. I’m not restricted by Father. The only restrictions I have are the ones I have forced on Myself.
If I say a word, I’ll be back with Father and it will be over.
I’ll be home.
‘But this is home, too.’
‘Is it?’ I ask Her.
‘Can’t you feel it?’
Yes, I can feel it. My physical body is my home, too. This physical world and everything in it are my home, too.
I look at the stones.
‘I won’t fix the world if I make food fall from the sky for them, ‘I whisper, ‘I’ll fix it if I teach them how to make that food for themselves and distribute it in the right way.’
‘You mean, you’ll teach them how to share?’
‘Yes.’
‘You, a simple carpenter from a small village somewhere on the outskirts of an empire, will teach the whole world how to share their food so that there’s enough for everybody?’
‘Yes.’
‘And they will put what they’ve learned from you to practice?’
‘Not everybody. But those who want will be able to.’
‘Oh? Those who want? Like, ten percent of the world’s population? Those are the people you’re going to get with you in your new time-bound reality, my Lord. Just ten percent of all the people who ever lived, live, and will live.’
‘Since when you’ve become so good at numbers?’
The horrible wound of a smile flashes at me again.
‘They won’t turn your words into deeds because they won’t believe You’re what you say You are!’ Lucifer waves his hand and suddenly, we’re somewhere else.
I lie on my belly on a cold stone surface and I realize I’m on a roof. There are numerous golden turrets before me, and beyond them, I’m able to see a small inner court with steps leading to a golden gate. Two white massive pillars guard the gate, propped against the roof I’m lying on.
Men are walking in the inner court. Men, clothed in heavy violet robes, fringed with small golden belts that alternate with wool tassels of various colors.
Priests.
‘This is Your temple,’ I look at the direction of the voice. Lucifer sits before me, on the stone, legs and arms crossed, his iridescent tunic shining in the sun. His white face is flat and expressionless now. ‘These are Your servants down there. By the way, there’re not only Jews here, there’re all kinds of men outside the consecrated area. Gentiles. So, they’ll see it, too.’
‘They’ll see what?’ I turn my eyes away from him. My gaze roams over the whiteness of the walls that surround the Temple Edifice, the cleanness of the inner court, and the purple doors that separate it from the court of women. The sight of the temple makes me sad. I’ve spent so many hours in there. Mom, Dad…my cousins…every holiday…on Sabbaths…
…and the priests. The priests I’ve talked to on numerous occasions. They liked me. Shortly, they won’t like me anymore. They will…
‘It doesn’t have to happen,’ Lucifer says and I shift my gaze toward him again. ‘They won’t kill You if they believe You.’
‘They’ll believe me,’ I whisper.
‘I mean, everyone, my Lord. Everyone. You just need to show Yourself to them in all your glory. You know, this is the real Temple, I’ve transported us here. I can do some tricks myself, you know,’ he chuckles and I feel as if large black ants are crawling on my skin under my tunic. ‘So, if I click my fingers, they’ll see us. They’ll see You. Throw Yourself from the roof, let Your angels grab You in the air, let their Light shine on the whole place, and everyone will believe. They’ll accept You as their Master forever.’
‘You mean, you want me to scare them into obeying me?’
Lucifer raised his arms with a loud, theatrical sigh.
‘Oh, please! Is there another way? Has there ever been another way? How many times in their history, tell me, how many times, You needed to scare them into proper behavior? You talk and talk, and talk, and they don’t listen. Then You scare them, and they immediately turn to You. Show them Your face once and for all, and You’ll have the peaceful Earth You wanted from the very beginning! Your death is meaningless!’
‘My death will tell them I accept them for who they are, ‘I say, but I feel my lips start to tremble. ‘That they can be with Me no matter what. If I impose Myself on them, I’m taking their free will away from them. There’s no love without free will.’
‘There’s not much love with free will as well, ‘Lucifer says. ‘Did I say ten percent of the world population? Might be even less.’
‘I told you you’re not good at numbers.’
‘And you’re not good at handling your physical body. Do you know what your death will be like?’
‘I know,’ my lips tremble even harder.
‘Yeah, yeah, you know. In theory. You’ve never experienced it physically. Do you think what you’ve been through in the desert is torture? The things they’re going to do to you…oh, my Lord, I’m sorry to break it to you, but you’ll fail. You’ll curse them at least once. As for what you’ll feel…you’ll hate them to high heavens.’
‘Not if I’m with Father, ‘I clench my teeth. Anger starts rising within me, and this time, it’s the right type of anger. The Warmth is telling me it’s the right type.
‘Father? Where’s Your Father?’
‘He’s right here and He doesn’t like you messing with Him!’ I shout. My voice shatters the Temple, Lucifer slips through the roof and clutches at one of the golden turrets. I get a glimpse of his white face and hear his fading laughter, and then we are together again, in another place.
We are in Space.
Blackness envelops us, pierced by the distant light of stars. The quietness is overwhelming. I wish I could close my eyes and fall asleep, but my gaze is attracted by the great, green-blue sphere in front of us.
It rotates slowly, in a calming, leisurely manner.
The Earth.
My Earth.
My home.
‘Yes,’ Lucifer stands next to me, arms crossed on his chest again. His figure is somehow shrunken and now he is shorter than me, but the bloody smile is still disfiguring his face, ‘That’s your home. I took over it, and I admit that it was an unjust thing to do. Do you want it back?’
‘I’ll get it back,’ I say calmly.
‘I mean, without having to sacrifice Yourself for it. I’ll retreat this very minute, with all my angels. I’ll leave what’s Yours to You. Do what You want with it. Don’t scare Your human friends, if You don’t want to. Shower them with kindness. It’s Your call.’
I raise my eyebrows.
I’m getting sick of you, pursuer of death. My patience is not endless.
‘You’re going to do this?’ I ask.
‘Yes.’
‘On what condition?’
‘Ah, about that…yes, there’s one condition. I want You to admit that Your salvation plan was stupid and I want You to thank me for my goodwill. I want You to bow down to me. In gratitude, you know.’
‘Ah, yes. I see. I bow down to you and I become your slave immediately. I’m trapped on earth in my human form and you’ve won. You want me to die for real so that My creation remains forever in your possession.’
Lucifer is silent. His body shrinks even further. Now he looks like a rag doll.
‘But,’ I continue, smiling,’ You, angels, can’t seem to grasp the concept that something that has no beginning can’t have an end!’
Full of the Warmth, and feeling no pain at all anymore, I step towards the small, iridescent body. Now even the colors of his clothes have lost their intensity, as if they’ve been in the sun for months.
‘Therefore, I’m unable to bow down to anyone but to my Father! Get out of my sight!’
I roar the last words and they echo throughout the Universe.
Lucifer vanishes.
Space.
Earth.
The desert.
But no pain anymore.
There’s light all around me. Not the light of the sun, another light. Light, coming from various, half-visible sources. Tender, caring light.
‘Relax,’ I hear soft, tender voices around me, ‘Just relax, close your eyes, it’ll be okay…you’ll be okay..’
Who are they? I ask the Warmth.
‘Our angels, ‘She says, and her childish, happy laughter tinkles my soul, ‘They’ll nourish your body so that you can return to Nazareth. Your Mom needs to see you.’
‘I can go home? So, it’s over?’
‘It’s over. You’ve learned quite a lot, haven’t you?’
‘Yes, I did. Thank You. Thank You for being with me.’
‘Tell me, what’s the most important thing you should do from now on?’
‘Pray,‘ I say, feeling the energy rising inside my body and making me smile widely, ‘Pray all the time.’
‘That’s right, my love,’ She says. ‘That’s absolutely right.’
If you want to read more Biblical interpretations, take a look at my collection:
Thank you for sharing this journey with me. 🤍
